Everybody, in their own way, can benefit from practising gratitude; how that looks & feels for you is something that can be designed.

Artwork credit: @phoebefoxtrot

Earlier in the week, I was fortunate enough to complete some CPD around Nancy Kline's 'Time to Think' coaching approach.  I LOVE learning and really enjoyed this opportunity to add another perspective to my coaching practise.  At the end of our session, we all shared what we felt appreciation for, which - as a positive psychology coach - I loved!

I often talk about the benefits of practising gratitude, and leaning into the small everyday joys, as a way of supporting our wellbeing*.  However, I appreciate that this isn't always easy to do, and some people may feel an element of internal awkwardness or resistance around it.

Borrowing words from what some of my clients have said, expressing gratitude might:

• Feel like it would take up too much time.

• Feel like you wouldn’t know where to start – what would you write or reflect on?

• Feel like you wouldn’t do it ‘right’.

• Feel like it’s not your type of thing.

As a coach, it's not my place to convince or instruct you to do anything.  Practising gratitude may not be for you and that's absolutely fine.  However, my personal and professional view is that everybody – in their own way – can benefit from practising gratitude; how that looks and feels for you is something that can be designed so it feels authentic to you, and supports you to nurture your wellbeing.

With this bespoke approach in mind, I thought it might be useful to share how I practise gratitude.

• I find: creating voice notes; noting down odd words/phrases using a journaling app on my smartphone; creating Instagram stories/posts and taking photos allows me to embrace gratitude in a more instantaneous and spontaneous way. I rarely practise gratitude in what might be considered a more formal way (written form / journaling), although I will write when I feel I need a deeper connection to my thoughts.

• I also speak out expressions of gratitude e.g. share with a friend, because, as a ‘speak to think’ person, this supports me to process my thoughts on a deeper level.

• I practise gratitude on an ad-hoc basis, with no set time or routine – it’s a spontaneous practise.

• I use practising gratitude as a grounding technique if I'm feeling stressed.

• I also use it as a bit of a 'reality check' for when my inner-critic creeps up, or if I'm feeling overwhelmed with imposter-type feelings, as it supports me to focus on what's going well.

• I also use it on joyous days, like today, when I want to acknowledge and soak up the positive emotions I'm experiencing.

• 3 expressions of gratitude (e.g. 3 things I’m grateful for...) is a 'nice' number to work towards, but I don’t pressurise myself to come up with 3.  Some days it’s 1, other days it might be 5 and that’s fine.

• What I'm grateful for is individual and personal to me. Some days it might be about what I consider to be the big things, or significant people, in my life; on other days gratitude can be more practical and everyday, like pegging washing out on a dry day or a really good coffee. There are no rules.

Today, is one of those joyous days I mentioned earlier. Our youngest son, Noah, turns 5 today and he is so excited!

So, what am I grateful for, today?

• I’m grateful for being able to spend a precious few minutes with Noah - just us two, cuddled in bed - chatting about how much he must have grown overnight to become 5.

• I’m grateful for his early-hours bed-hopping, and how it has led to the creation of what will become a precious memory.

• I’m grateful to my close friends and neighbours who have sent birthday cards and gifts to celebrate his birthday with him.

• I’m grateful for the grandparents who will be sharing a birthday tea with us.

• I’m grateful to Asda for having a fabulous Spiderman cake in stock!

• I'm grateful for my husband, who hangs all manner of bunting and decorations without complaint.

• I'm grateful for how excited our eldest son is about Noah's special day.

• I’m grateful to be sharing this special day with our kind-hearted, witty, beautiful son - what a privilege!

I’d love to hear about your thoughts and experiences of expressing gratitude and, if this is something you’d like to design for yourself, let’s talk 😊

*If you're interested in learning more about the science behind gratitude, you may find these articles useful:

The Science Behind Gratitude Journaling | Wanderings

The Science of Gratitude - Mindful