Bumpy roads & coffee drive-thrus.

Hello!

It's been a while since I have written a blog post. I've had a busy few months and, whilst reflecting on a recent coaching session, I felt inspired to share my bumpy road and coffee drive-thru story.

Those of you that know me, or have been following me for a while, will know that I LOVE the use of imagery, analogy, and metaphor within my coaching practise. I find imagery is a creative and symbolic way to support individuals to see their experiences from a different perspective.

With permission, the takeaway I’m sharing, today, is from an individual I have been coaching for a couple of years, as and when they feel they need some coaching support. 

For context,  this individual has entered a new career transition, where they are required to work at a more, in-depth, senior level.  Things started well, with them feeling super confident and self-assured; in an earlier coaching session, they reflected: “I deserve to be here” and “I’m going to do well here”.  Fast forward a few weeks and an unexpected challenge (a ‘bump in the road’) had knocked them off kilter.  They felt overwhelmed and frustrated, their headspace returning to a past event that had detrimentally impacted their confidence. 

They had begun to compare the two events,  constructing a convincing inner narrative that they would fail, that they couldn’t cope, and that they were going to mess this new opportunity up. 

It is during this session that the imagery of a long road and a petrol station – obviously one with a coffee drive-thru – came to be.

Trying out a new perspective, we spoke about roads and what obstacles may be present; we reflected how most roads have twists and turns, bumps, dips - sometimes huge potholes! - and often temporary traffic lights.  Our journey can be unpredictable.  The expectation that we will drive to our destination, on a beautifully smooth, straight road – completely hassle-free – is unrealistic.  Yet, we can often navigate through/around these obstacles and choose how we let it influence/impact our feelings about the rest of our journey.   

You’ll have guessed where I’m going with this… the journey of our lives is the same. 

We spent some time imagining a long road, heading to this individual’s chosen destination (to feel more confident in their ability to manage challenge in a calmer, more consistent way) and a petrol station – with a drive-thru – on the side of the road.  We imagined the car park of the petrol station, where we were now sat, drive thru coffees in hand!  This part of the journey represented our current coaching session.

We reflected on the sights and the sounds of the journey so far; what had we learned along the way and what would be useful to take with us for this next stage of the journey. 

But where to next?  That was for this individual to decide:

• Did they want to continue sitting in the car park?

• Did they want to reverse back down the road we’d already travelled and re-visit what we’d already seen?

• Did they feel ready and able to experience new sights and sounds, bringing us closer to their desired destination?

At the end of our session, I asked what they were taking away.  They emphatically replied:  “a reality check! Reversing back down the road is NOT helping me, today, and WON’T get me to where I want to be”.

Within my coaching, I support people to develop new perspectives, and this can include sensitively challenging beliefs and blind spots that hold an individual back.  The imagery of the petrol station car park supported the individual to see that they had been spending a lot of time and resources reversing back down the road, revisiting what they’d already negatively experienced.  Together, we acknowledged the impact of the previous journey and how it was making them feel, now, in the car park, but we also acknowledged that reversing back down the road was not moving them closer to their desired destination / future state.

Now, some caveats – I’m not suggesting we ignore the past.  In coaching it’s important to acknowledge and learn from the past, as it provides context for who we are, and how we operate, today; the past also provides useful data and evidence for building resilience and overcoming challenge.  However, in coaching, we don’t set up camp in the past.  Some individuals, for various reasons, i.e. unresolved trauma, feel they can only reverse back down the road - that they're ‘stuck’ and unable to move forward without further understanding and processing of what happened previously.  The key word here is ‘stuck’, and in instances, such as this, coaching isn’t an appropriate space to work through this.  Working with a professionally trained therapist or counsellor is the best form of action at this point, with a view to potentially working with a coach alongside therapy/counselling (if appropriate) or returning to coaching in the future. 

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this and how imagery supports you.

Laura x